One Less Reason
by writingbecomesbreathing
Summary: With Peeta's nightmares and memories rising and Katniss being swallowed by her own pain, what can the two lovers do but lean on each other? But when Peeta reaches for Katniss... she's reaching for someone else. Based after Mockingjay but before epilogue.


**One Less Reason **

**By: DarkbeforetheDawn**

**Song: One Less Reason by A Day to be Alone **

Peeta's soft whisper makes goose bumps rise in the black haired girl. Her hand clutches the sheet of the bed and listens to him dream; his dreams that go from so quiet that they're nearly silent, to a scream of terror… calling out for a girl that Katniss does not know. She comforts him which a rub on the arm, a kiss on the cheek and gentle words. When the blonde boy quiets and opens his dim blue eyes, she can tell he is in pain, so much pain that he can't bear; pain that Katniss tries to heal, but with so much of her own, she can't.

She knows she's being selfish since Peeta also lost so many people, his brothers, his dad, even the mother he hated… he lost Finnick and even Prim who loved him…

Her small face game to Katniss's mind, saying her name as the bomb went off… killing her. _Gale's bomb, _Katniss thought. She tried to push the words away, Peeta was supposed to be her only care in the world right now. Not where Gale wondered off too, not who he was holding at night or kissing in the morning; Peeta, the one who stayed with her, even though she didn't deserve it. Tears ran down Katniss's face as she began to collect the thoughts of self-hatred, thoughts that Haymitch warned her about… thoughts that he thought would be dangerous so he gave her liquor to wash them away. But it only made them stronger, and scared Peeta… Haymitch never apologized for the fights his liquor caused, all he said was:

"Grow up, sweetheart; you aren't getting everything you want in life. Get over it." Those words were tattooed in her mind as a reminder that it's ok to be said even if she is with Peeta, because she can't have him and be happy.

"Katniss…" Peeta's voice brought her back to reality. She looked up into his eyes.

"Yes?"

"You're awake…" he stated, yawning into the pillow. "I thought you were asleep..." Peeta looked back up at the sleepy girl and leaned closer to her. She felt his heat, his breath on her face. Katniss closed her eyes and raised her head, a reaction she was so used to doing, and she'd do it to an animal about to attack.

Peeta's sweet lips met her salty ones. A combination both enjoyed, even though both imagined kissing others. Something Peeta hated himself for but Katniss felt no remorse for. She wanted to see Gale again, she didn't want to say goodbye. She wanted him holding her when she woke up, not Peeta.

Katniss set a hand on Peeta's cheek, let him do the actual kissing. He moved his lips slightly over hers. He soaked in the kiss… enjoying the seconds he had with her. When she pulled back he looked into her eyes. He no longer saw love like he did the first time he kissed her. He saw pain, regret and sorrow. Everything but love, the one thing Peeta needed in a time like this. But he couldn't blame the poor girl. She didn't deserve the pain she felt. Only he did, with every sinful thought and wish. The fact he was so close to killing her- how that made him happy. The fact that deep inside, she was still a capital made mutt… everything that he was told still floated in his mind…

The two laid in bed for what seemed like hours to Katniss, before a knock at the door got her up. She stumbled to the door to reveal Haymitch, somewhat cleaner than normal. He handed her a crumbled letter.

"Here, sweetheart," he mumbled as he staggered to the couch. He took a gulp of his liquor and put his bare feet on the coffee table in front of him. Katniss didn't mind. She never did anymore with Haymitch. He would somehow end up at her house, sometimes trailed with a couple of geese, and just stay there until dark.

"Thanks…" Katniss replied and unfolded the letter, shocked to see it was from Gale.

_Katniss,_

_ It's been too long and I regret not talking to you, or even saying a right goodbye. You didn't deserve it, you were weak from Primrose's death and I was full of guilt that I caused it. I want to see you again. Just to catch up… it's been a few months, almost a year since the war and I need to see you again. I miss you, Catnip. _

_ Gale. _

Katniss read the letter over and over again. It was like some dream. She had wanted to see him again, but she didn't plan on him coming to district 12 ever again. She didn't think he'd want to see her. But by the sounds of the letter, he was coming. To "catch up" with her… maybe he'd go hunting like old times. Maybe he'd comfort her…for the loss of her sister and her mother leaving her.

Peeta's scream interrupted the gray-eyed girl's dreams. Haymitch jumped, his liquor bottle leaving his hand and almost in slow motion, crashing down to the floor. Glass and tainted water went in all directions.

"Oh hell," Haymitch grunted. Katniss stood there, hearing Peeta but watching Haymitch quick away a few piece of glass… clutching the note, she couldn't move.

"Well?" Haymitch spat, glaring at her. "Are you not going to do anything for him? Or are you going to let him suffer?" Katniss glared back, she wasn't going to take Haymitch's shit anymore.

"Fuck off, Abernathy. I'm sick of you and your so called 'advice'. Why don't you take it yourself and you might be healthy for a change? You wouldn't be so dirty or such a goddamn asshole!" The words burnt her mouth, tongue and throat. She took deep breath, clearing the anger out, or what she thought she could.

Haymitch stood up glaring.

"Don't you dare talk to me like that," he replied angrily. He then staggered to the door, still glaring. "I didn't have to give you the note, you know. I'm not your God damn messenger." Haymitch walked out slamming the door, causing Peeta's yells to worsen. Katniss shoved the note in her pocket and ran upstairs to comfort Peeta out of his nightmare.

While she held him close, she thought about what Haymitch had said to her… what the words actually meant. She wasn't right for Peeta and she knew. She made his life worse deep down. Peeta may seem happy sometimes, but really, he couldn't stand her…

Katniss kissed Peeta's head and pulled the blanket back from his warm body. She ran her fingers up his stomach, over his arm, right to his face. She did this while he was asleep plenty of times… and it was one thing she enjoyed. But never has she done it while he was awake. But he seemed to enjoy it.

He was fully awake now, unlike before, and looked into Katniss's gray eyes. She reached her hand down to his cheek.

"It's ok, Peeta… you're safe with me," Katniss whispered the lie. He was only going to get hurt with her…

* * *

><p><strong>Please understand I made this for my own entertainment. I listened to the song at the beginning and this just happened... I wrote it only between times like 12am-3am, so please ignore any grammar mistakes... I tried to go through it but right now, it's 2: 30 in the morning... <strong>

**1. Again, made this for entertainment for myself. I don't expect much out of this story. **

**2. It was going to be a "one chapter" deal. But I couldn't bring myself to end it just yet. So it will be a mini story. **

**3. Characters are most likely OOC, but eh. I don't care. (refer to 1) **

**4. It might be confusing at first... I hope to clear that up with chapters ahead. (If you have questions, ask in the review area or just message me...either way.)**

**5. Next chapter WILL have better grammar because I'll spend more time on grammar and paying attention to what I write. **

**~DarkBeforeTheDawn**


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